Get all 25 Twisted Illusion releases available on Bandcamp and save 75%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Critically Ashamed, Project Zeus, It's Not Even Satire Anymore, Choices, Glittering Prizes, Upstairs To Optimism (Acoustic), Upstairs To Optimism, Live In Ramsgate (2023 Remaster), and 17 more.
1. |
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There's no logo
On the foam
Jez thought the table was being ironic
Floss is boss
Floss is boss
Floss is boss
Floss is boss
All I know is we need to tidy up
I feel like a piece of low
All I see is a laptop in the bath
Maybe that was the bad thing
Hoovering up crisps
I know there's something wrong
No more drugs
No more drugs
No more drugs
No more drugs
No more drugs
No more drugs
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2. |
Crack Is Really Moreish
05:21
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No disturbing Hans
When he's honking on his crack pipe
He'll suck for crack
Valium in the arse for the comedowns
Watch out they're gonna get you, they're gonna get you baby, they're coming after you, watch your back they're gonna get you, they're coming after yooouuuu)
A sausage on the door
Crunchy nut on the floor
I didn't mean to brick that house
Or befriend a racist
He plays the Cor Anglais
And Gog wants the track that way
Order three pilau rice
But four naans are insane
Well I dunno about you but I'm so bored I could eat a stapler
I'm Barnes Wallis, you're the Ruhr
And when are people gonna realise
You lot are better at sport
Relax it's not blue Peter
Just a little smoke of crack
Yeah well if you're leaving now
Don't even fucking dream of coming back!
Hey!
You're a racist
I can't be friends with you
Good riddance you nazi
Fuck off thought police!!!
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3. |
Soapy Margherita
05:14
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Promised Suze a party
We'll be taking shrooms
Mark has come home early
With the gastric flu
I have got an evil plan
Sort of poisoning my flatmate
He'll probably wake up completely cured
I'm not going to rape him
You had to do it didn't you
You couldn't let me be happy (Jeremy for god sake)
You just can't take a joke
Tripping my nuts off watching you do endless poooing (endless pooing)
This is literally unbelievable
Locked out of a party in my own home
A mushroom party is not in the tenants agreement
Its Sarah's 18th all over again
Open up you bloody arse hole
I need a poo
Thank you Alan! I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry
It's just a normal poo
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4. |
Heading For A Wedding
09:45
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Mark - Far from everyone I know, I can't relate to you
Sophie - I really want this sugar bowl today!
Mark - I never get to be myself when I'm with you
Sophie - I've got my own bearded concubine
Mark - Treat me as a Mark bot, tell me that I'm insecure. No shit Sherlock, that's elementary. I don't like your parents...
Are we just, two desperate souls who don't belong?
Office fun has led to this, the hump we call our wedding day
Sophie - Far from everyone you know, we can't relate to you
I want a baby this year, Mark Corrigan I suppose you'll have to do.
We'll keep nana's cottage, maybe mum will make us jam (I like to theme my jams).
Why did you shave your new beard? Why did you pretend to snore?
Hiding from
My bride to be
Is so wrong
I didn’t mean for it to get this far
I just don’t know
Where has Mark gone to?
Everybody is here
Jilted at the altar, is that what is happening?
I might just hide
Until I am the victim
I can flip a coin for my life
Blame it on Jez
Should I leave here and go home
Or find Jeff and go party
He'd never jilt me
He's a good guy
I’ve done a Stephen fry
Tell everyone to be nice
Surprise, it’s me and
Jez with pissy pants
Are you sure you want to do this?
Why were you hiding upstairs?
I'll make it look like you beat me
With these tears
I can’t believe I’m here
Ruining my life
Tears of joy my arse
Someone save me
Get me out of this car
Feel like I've been shot in the stomach
I want to scratch this all out, he called our wedding the hump...
Hortenzia!
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5. |
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Maybe she's the one
I'm not a threat
Convince yourself
You're not a gay
Drink Irish wine
It's not a rape because nothing went into my bum
I'm showing you, I like you in the dark.
I'm riding you, whilst you dream of your mum
I like that, I think I need a wee now
Can't you see, I'm not a lesbian, I'm straight
I struggle to wear skirts
I just tend to hide it
I sometimes feel
I just need a horny drink
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6. |
Men With Ven
04:21
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There's a fire alarm
Lisa asked me to reset it
Jeff wants 200 lattes
Chance would be
A fine thing indeed
End the day
Humping shit
For Super Hans
Cash-in-hand
From in a van
We're men with ven
All that power
I got the Danish sofa
And the Dominator
They've screwed me
And diddled you
Dobbys cum
From her hard on
All over me
My dream, my nightmare
But there it goes
The Nazi gold
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7. |
Netherzone
05:53
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Problems are everywhere
Door is locked
We're trapped in the netherzone
We're gonna run out of air
My mobile will save us
With only one phone call
I'm kicking the door down
Go go gadget leg
I'll jump out the window, I need to be a dad!
I'm wearing Ben's trousers
He's all about the merch
Zara needs a wee but we are in her shower
We've already heard Ben do a poo
Jez is my name
Why do I get dumped?
The big shame is, I didn't even get to go down on you
Pizza is on it's way but I need a piss
Out of the letterbox
Does the squirrel want to play?
Mark I've found a "bit"
We could do something with this
We're getting fucked by the brush
I have no time
You say you could rape me
But not make love to me
The netherzone taught me, never to trust your friends
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8. |
Lovely Curry
02:33
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I keep eating the bhajis over and over again
Instead of therapy I had a poppadom instead
It's okay that you've had no food
I've got us a lovely treat
A lovely curry with a naan and a half each
And there's bhajis too... (is he fucking me?)
Just tell me you lied
And it all goes away
No more curry, no more problems
You went to Mr. Bendix, you didn't see it through
Yes I am the king!
You need the help, you need therapy...
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9. |
Vannin' It To Macedonia
05:48
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Getting Jez a birthday card
You are 40 years old
He's drinking urine
Kept in the fridge
Not with a sandwich
Not as your drink
Come on Jez, what's next?
The chocolate factory?
Do I smell corporate lube?
Shafted by a piss addict
Am I about to be fucked?
And left hung out to dry
Jeff, Jerry and Johnson
A trilogy of shits
I'm letting you know
I'm now gonna punch your nose
She's a beast, I need some head space
Marmite in the marge
Shower gel oozing
Just laying on its side
I’ve done a good one
I’ve cleared the coast
Morrocan food worked
You did it twice in the toilets
There’s always a dark side of love
I'm gonna van it to Macedonia
I'm not even allowed
To do a little
Fucking naughty kidnap
Are we going to be alright?
Oh god I'm so tired
Mark will you pull me off?
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Twisted Illusion Manchester, UK
Welcome to the Twisted Illusion Bandcamp.
If you like the sophisticated musical arrangements of Rush
and Toto, the cinematic soundscapes of Yes or Marillion and the melodic brilliance of Boston, then you’re going to absolutely love Twisted Illusion’s debut album ‘Temple of Artifice.’
(Great Music Stories)
... more
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